Charles McKeithan

Failure may not be an option.....but sometimes, it's inevitable.

It's 9 am, and I pour my first cup, the kids and the wife have headed off to kid and wife places for the day, and I have work to do. serious work. heart felt stuff. The Late John Rose O'Riordan is having a chair commemorated in his name at the San Jose Stage Company tonight, and I have promised a little video summary of all the pre-show speechs that John would give before each show.

God love him, I hated those speechs. As an actor behind the curtain with three months of work piled down to ten minutes from curtain, I wanted no delays. I wanted to get the show up and out and live the life as it were.

But with stuborn patience, Every Show, John would hoble, wander, stride up to the stage and take the wireless mike , then promptly forget it was in his hand and gesture with it as if it were itself a prop in his own show.

He would often forget the time of day, the author of the show, where he was. But he would never forget to thank the audience. To tell them that the Mostly Irish Theatre Company is an elclectic, mom and pop organization on a shoe string budget. That we had spared Every Expense to bring them this show. He never forgot to point out dignitaries, freinds, preists, and family that had come to see this particular show. And he always shone with a glow of love that I never really glimpsed from my side of the curtain. Pride. Love. His creation was our creation. Nothing mattered to him expect the hope that the audience in the theater THAT show, enjoyed what we had put together for them.

Then he would return to his chair at Actor Stage Right. Always the same chair. That chair.

John passed on Saint Pat's Day. (of course) and now over a year later, the new Artistic Director of his theatre company sits to his computer to upload hours of tape trying to string together a montage of those speechs for a ceramony dedicating that chair to him.

There was still champagne to be bought, and a few other minor details. But this video whould have been finished days ago and here I sat, halfway through cup two, loading snippits and adjusting volume. thinking about overlay music.

Seven Straight hours of non stop editing later, I feel the tingle of time catching up to me. I have to be a the Stage at 6 to help set up, I still have to buy champagne....... but this was good. It was really good. I am a perfectionist when I care about what I am doing. And the last touchs of this were making me happy. I cried a little in memory as I watched this beloved man smile out at me from my screen. I miss him.

Finally, I hit the burn disk button. Counters tick past as I wait and start to think of timeing issues. Things are getting close but it will be all worth it.
SHIT! I forgot to get the viewer from work. Okay, I'll just have to load the TV and dvd player into the truck.....the kids can go without a movie tonight.

The counter ticks on. it has been half an hour and it is about halfway through rendering and burning. I go to the store and after a quick consult from Steve, my toasting expert. I buy 250 buck worth of Champagn for the 50 people coming to the event.
Stop by the house and grab the dvd, that will leave me ten minutes late but with drinks and a kick ass memory of the man I respected so dearly. I get inside and reach for the computer.

the counter is still only 3/4 of the way to done. it is
c r a w l i n g slowly.
I am out of time.
Plan c
I get in the car and drive slightly faster than everyone else in the world from my condo to the Stage downtown san Jose. It is 6:30. ALOT of people are already here. I race in with the champagne on ice in the back of the truck. Freindly hands help with the massive TV and Mary Smith, an angel who can make anything happen if you need her to, gentle but firmly takes my arm and says.."we got this, do whatever else you need to do. Everything will be fine."

I hit the freeway at 69 and then come to a dead halt. rush hour goes one way.
seven minutes from condo to stage equals 20 from stage to condo. I evaporate through the door and am in front of the computer about to push the button.

it is not yet finished.

I sit, I am ready to throw up but havn't eaten all day. ten after seven and the phone rings. Ray wants to know where I am, and when I will be there.
gimmie five more minutes.

What do we do?
Just start without me. I am not coming back without this vido. I don't care if I miss the ceremony, I will be there asap.

"but we don't know what you want us to do"

"GIVE DOUG A PENNYWHISTLE AND HAVE HIM PLAY, I don't know....I'll be there!"

As I click my phone off and resist the temptation to throw the 700 bucks worth of electronics against the wall, the disk chirps. "Finished"

two minutes later I am back on the freeway and the phone rings again. Its my wife. Alittle distrought becuase she was in mid sentence when whe relised I was gone.
Sorry.

7:35 I rush into the theater. Peggy is thanking everyone for coming and giving special things to varioius people who have supported the company for so long. Like John, Peggy never forgets.

After an endless few seconds, she looks at me and wiats for me to take the helm. I extemporize and prepare the crowd for the video. Talk about John and his preshow speechs as I slide the disk into place.
The tv lights up and,..

a video on proper footcare plays midway through it's schpeel. Oops! sorry, thats the wifes training video for body shop. the DVD player was set in vcr mode.
The audience chuckles with good nature. It's an easy crowd. They loved John. They love the rest of us. and they are used to mix ups.

I switch to DVD mode and the word Loading lights the screen. The crowd quiets as we wait.
and wait.

long after the ice has moved back down from the glacieral passages, I try not to trip over my heart down there on the floor as I struggle to hold on for one more second before hitting the off button. I turn to the crowd. I can see my own pained expression shining in their eyes. They hold no grudges. They are a loving group of folks. Excatly the reason I swore I would not fail them.

With the determination that has kept me going through other plights in my life, I brush aside the massive pile of wreckage that is my plan, and we move on.

It was a lovely evening. Everyone really wants to see the video when it gets completed. Nothing though can repair the loss of that magic moment that I wanted.

The vidoe is working now. a gig of memory from Frys and a few software patchs fixed it right up. It is just as good as it was at 5:30 the other day,

but.........

Posted by cmckeithan at July 26, 2004 02:34 AM